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  #21  
Old 05-20-2008, 09:13 AM
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Abraham Smashington Abraham Smashington is offline
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Default Re: Craigs List Thread : The best of!

Quote:
email this posting to a friend best of craigslist > chicago > RAVE: I give head like a pornstar
Originally Posted: Fri, 11 Nov 15:21 CST

RAVE: I give head like a pornstar

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2005-11-11, 3:21PM CST


Everyone I've ever given head to says its the best they've ever had. Well ladies this is why so try and make your man happy.

1.I LOVE to do it. It absolutely turns me on more than recieving it. I will even feel myselt start to drip.

2.I look up at him while I'm doing it so he knows I'm loving it. You give him the eyes or that "i fucking love this" face. Literally devour him. Act like you can't get enough of his cock.

3.I spend a lot of time licking and sucking his balls while using my hands on him and looking him in the eye... Also--yes I'll perform a "hummer" if you will

4.Of course I SWALLOW.. but I also allow him to pull back, jerk into my open waiting mouth and onto my tits.

5.I always give while on my knees.. He's either standing up over me holding my hair or he might be sitting on the couch. Either way at some point I will take my breasts and wrap them around his shaft and fuck it while I suck his head. This way he also gets to watch your ass wiggling.

6.Yes, I have let him give me a pearl necklace. In that case I lick the cum off of my tits and I have him feed it to me off of his fingers.

7.I'll talk dirty to him a little bit. Tell him I don't want him to cum yet because I'm not ready, or that I love the way his hard cock feels in my mouth.. I take my time--he better be prepared to sit there for at least a half hour probably more.

8.I love to lick and tickle under his balls. THe "taint" if you will. Or I'll use my thumb to apply light pressure in circular motions or going up and down. I'll go lower and lower down to the ass if he lets me. If he's enjoying it, yes I will rim, and yes I have fingered his ass.

9.When I'm getting really turned on, I'll reach between my legs and play with myself in front of him. Then I'll take my soaking wet fingers rub my juice on his head and then suck it off. I'll also suck my fingers clean for him. If its someone I am dating or something then I've even gone so far as to climb onto him.. lower myself.. sit there for about 10 seconds then get back down on my knees and continue sucking.

10.I deep throat. There have been instances where I dont even realize he came because it's so far down my throat. If he gags me I keep going.

11.And its just general technique. I have a very busy tongue and I get him into a great rhythm building him up and slowing down to help prolong and intensify his orgasm. I love to flick my tongue back and forth around his sensitive ridge and all underneath it.

12.I also SUCK his cock head firmly letting it pass in and out of my mouth, so my lips run over him while he fucks my wet mouth.

13.I'll get him nice and wet and use my hand to stroke him in a counter-clockwise motion and then I suck on him going clockwise. The other hand goes to his nipples, balls etc.. but the combined sensations get him so hard.

14.When he's ready to cum thats when speed and intensity HAVE TO INCREASE. I bob up and down on him faster and faster and I let him thrust his hips too so I take him even deeper.

15.After he cums I'll continue to suck him slowing down intensity and speed, bringing him down from his orgasm until he stops me becuase he's so sensitive.


And that is why I give head like a pornstar. No, I am not a slut and I do not have STD's. I'm just a woman who likes to suck cock. Men--there are other women out there like me so don't give up hope if you have never had great head.
PostingID: 110575058

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  #22  
Old 05-20-2008, 09:34 AM
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patronsaintofcheeseburgers patronsaintofcheeseburgers is offline
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patronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Barty
Default Re: Craigs List Thread : The best of!

I seriously got a semi reading that shit....the whole time reading it I was praying it wasn't a dude. Thank God it wasn't
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  #23  
Old 05-20-2008, 09:51 AM
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Ari Ari is offline
<-----THIS!
 
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Ari is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurts
Default Re: Craigs List Thread : The best of!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Brother
I seriously got a semi reading that shit....the whole time reading it I was praying it was Ari.
Fixed!
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  #24  
Old 05-20-2008, 10:06 AM
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patronsaintofcheeseburgers patronsaintofcheeseburgers is offline
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patronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Barty
Default Re: Craigs List Thread : The best of!

That could possibly be the best description on how to give head published on Craigslist.
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  #25  
Old 05-20-2008, 12:40 PM
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Abraham Smashington Abraham Smashington is offline
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Abraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The Fahey
Default Re: Craigs List Thread : The best of!

Published anywhere for that matter.
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  #26  
Old 05-20-2008, 03:53 PM
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patronsaintofcheeseburgers patronsaintofcheeseburgers is offline
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patronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Barty
Default Re: Craigs List Thread : The best of!

Seriously....this shit should be on Oprah.
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  #27  
Old 06-23-2008, 12:57 PM
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Abraham Smashington Abraham Smashington is offline
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Abraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The Fahey
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http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pit/708850980.html
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  #28  
Old 06-23-2008, 01:02 PM
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patronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Barty
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Cut and paste please...fuck websense.
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  #29  
Old 06-23-2008, 01:08 PM
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Abraham Smashington Abraham Smashington is offline
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Abraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The Fahey
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...
Quote:
To my neighbor who I saw pooping in his yard yesterday - w4m


Date: 2008-06-05, 2:52PM EDT


I saw you couched down with your pants around your ankles. I asked "Hey, what are you doing?". Your reply was "Pooping in a groundhog hole! I read about it online. It's suppose to trick the groundhog into thinking another animal has moved into it's lair.".

Since you are normally a sane person I refrained from calling the police.

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  #30  
Old 06-23-2008, 01:10 PM
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Abraham Smashington Abraham Smashington is offline
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Abraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The Fahey
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...
Quote:
KERMIT SEEKS PIGGY


Date: 2008-04-19, 2:10PM EDT


For the longest time, I have admired the dynamic between this cross species couple. But then, sometime during the 80s, a commercial for the Muppets: Live on Stage added a new dimension. In it, a stretch limousine was pulling up in front of a theater. A footman opened the door, and a shapely, rather thick leg stepped onto the red carpet. As the rest of the form followed, it was revealed that it belonged to a woman wearing a full bodied Miss Piggy costume under an alluring evening dress. AND I WANTED HER. And, to be quite honest, I've never stopped.

Some time ago, I found an original full head rubber Miss Piggy mask, circa 1977, complete with a full head of long blond hair. I am looking for a tall, sexy BBW, preferably over 300 pounds, to wear this mask to bed. She should also be open to playing with plastic wrap and liquid latex. Blonde is best, I suppose, but not necessary. Who knows – for the right woman I might just get a green rubber suit and a Kermit mask.

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  #31  
Old 06-23-2008, 01:16 PM
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ScooterLaBeef ScooterLaBeef is offline
???????
 
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ScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy Blanks
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Miss Piggy for the win.... the is great!
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  #32  
Old 06-30-2008, 03:13 PM
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Machete weilding redneck
 
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Default Craigs List : I wear chain mail to protect my body from the rigors of extreme playing

epic

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hud/677453250.html
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  #33  
Old 06-30-2008, 03:24 PM
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patronsaintofcheeseburgers patronsaintofcheeseburgers is offline
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patronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Barty
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Greatness...I wish I could hear some of this guys shit. I bet it was KG from Tenacious D.
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  #34  
Old 07-17-2008, 01:06 PM
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ScooterLaBeef ScooterLaBeef is offline
???????
 
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ScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy Blanks
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Excerpt From Craigslist :

I'd like to start this off by saying one thing: IF YOU DON'T LIKE GUITAR, IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY HISTORY OF CARDIAC INFIRMITY, OR IF YOU ARE IN ANY WAY OF A WEAK DISPOSITION, HIT THE BACK BUTTON RIGHT AWAY.

But who doesn't like guitar, right? I don't think you understand. Jimi Hendrix played guitar. Groucho Marx played guitar. I think Winston Churchill might have played guitar. What I play is something different.

Picture a Verdi opera: 3 hours of music, some of beautiful and ennobling, at times piquant and subtle, other times dramatic and inspiring. Take those three hours of music, those thousands of musical notes, and compress them into 4 measures of incomprehensible speed, delivered with earth-shaking finesse and a raucous disregard for any physiological limit to human auditory perception. I cannot stress this enough: I will play guitar so fast your face will melt.

The last girlfriend I had was dearer to me than anything that doesn't have steel strings and pickups. It's with a heavy heart that I must confess that she met a tragic demise. I sat her down to perform for her, as she had never heard me play. Within mere seconds of the furious and almost satanically fast deluge of musical notes, she burst into flames and was reduced to a smoldering pile of ash. I have grieved for 7 months, and now it is time to seek a hardier companion.

I seek a woman of no flimsy construction who can tolerate the cyclone of death that my guitar will unleash upon her. Think about the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when the Holy Spirit (or whatever the hell that poorly rendered gaseous conglomerate was supposed to be) ravaged the Nazis by melting their flesh from their mortal bones. This is what my guitar playing does, except there is only vapor left, no bones. I cannot stress this enough: I will play guitar so fast the Earth will be rent asunder and armies of hellions will spew forth to wreak havoc upon the human population.

I don't care if you are fat, thin, average, need attention, busty, or even whether you genetically qualify as a human being. All that I care about, the single thing that will hold my attention, is a woman who can listen to my terror-inspiring, WMD-unleashing, virgin-defiling, hell-bent-on-misanthropic-destruction tornado of picking and whammy bar stunts without dying immediately.

If you think you can witness the senseless and brutalizing destruction that is my guitar playing without being maimed, incinerated, mutilated, lacerated, or dismembered in any way, please send me an email and I will arrange a meeting.
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  #35  
Old 07-17-2008, 01:13 PM
Abraham Smashington's Avatar
Abraham Smashington Abraham Smashington is offline
is fancy
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
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Abraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The FaheyAbraham Smashington is as epic as The Fahey
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Awesome. Pure Awesome.
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  #36  
Old 07-17-2008, 01:16 PM
Ari's Avatar
Ari Ari is offline
<-----THIS!
 
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Ari is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurtsAri is so fucking epic it hurts
Default

I'd go out with him.
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  #37  
Old 07-17-2008, 01:16 PM
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ScooterLaBeef ScooterLaBeef is offline
???????
 
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ScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy Blanks
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I just think of this guy playing some Rockband.
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  #38  
Old 07-17-2008, 07:55 PM
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ScooterLaBeef ScooterLaBeef is offline
???????
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
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ScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy Blanks
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I think the post was already removed as all the links I found where no longer good..... who the hell would buy this shit!

Quote:
Here’s your chance to get a piece of historic MMA memorabilia. Some guy on Craigslist is claiming that he has some of the Toyo Tire that blew out when the cops were chasing Quinton “Rampage” Jackson down the streets of Costa Mesa, CA.
From Craigslist:
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson Shredded Tire from Chase. Small pieces. Will send pics to serious inquiries.
My co-workers and I were driving back from lunch Tuesday, and almost got hit by this big a** truck being chased. His front tire landed in front of our car as pulled over to let the cops do there thing.
If your out of town, you will need to pay for shipping costs.
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  #39  
Old 07-21-2008, 12:19 PM
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patronsaintofcheeseburgers patronsaintofcheeseburgers is offline
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patronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Bartypatronsaintofcheeseburgers is almost as cool as Billy Barty
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Epic...I would rather get his psych ward jumpsuit.
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  #40  
Old 08-12-2008, 12:24 PM
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ScooterLaBeef ScooterLaBeef is offline
???????
 
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ScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy BlanksScooterLaBeef is almost as cool as Billy Blanks
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